


Dust

by Mister_Spock



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Baby!Spock, Gen, Young!Spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 03:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9216023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mister_Spock/pseuds/Mister_Spock
Summary: Vulcan's take thing literally.Complete.





	1. Chapter 1

He’d never seen his Mother cry before and he certainly had never (knowingly) been the cause of her tears.

“Why couldn’t you be more careful!” she said to him, eyes still streaming as she sobbed on her knees. She used her hands to gather together the pieces of broken pottery into one pile, as though it might fix itself somehow.

Spock remembered how much dust had been inside of it. It was spread across the floor, his Mother’s hands covered in it as she rubbed them against her trousers trying to get it off, Spock stood over her watching. Her tears were dropping into the dusty mess.

“Mother, it would be logical to use a pan and brush to clean this. Shall I retrieve it for you?” he asks, thinking it would help.

“It would be logical for you to get out of my sight right now.” she said.

And it was now the first time her anger had ever been directed at him. He quickly left the room and once out of her sight, he heard her sobbing louder.

He went out into the garden. But if Mother looked from the window, she would see him. Then he wouldn’t be out of her sight and he might make her cry more.

He did not want to cause her more upset. It would be logical to ensure she could not see him from the house at all.

There were some caves he had visited with his parents before, he could go to them.  
He only had his house shoes on, but he didn’t think Mother would want him to stay and change shoes, so he left hurriedly.  
He didn’t stop walking until he reached the caves. He didn’t remember it being so far when he’d come before.  
He thought about the last visit here and how his Father had taught him about the stories carved by the old Vulcan’s as teachings, but now, stood here alone, they didn’t seem important and he missed how his Mother had held his hand.

He wondered when he was allowed to be seen by her again.

Spock hadn’t realised how upset he was and now he’d allowed the thoughts to surface, he was unable to stop the tears that spilt. He wandered further back into a small recess and curled himself up. He didn’t know when he could go home.

He fell asleep in the little recess, head on his arms, legs tucked up so he was as small as he could be.

No one needed to know he cried himself to sleep.

He didn’t realise he’d fallen asleep until he heard his name called in a surprised gasp. He lifted his head up, groggy from sleep before he was embraced in a hug, so tight and all he could feel was relief.

“Spock, what are you doing here?” his mother asked, not releasing him.

“You asked me to leave your sight. I did not know where would be appropriate.” he answered honestly.

He felt her sob harder, squeeze him tighter, before she released the hug. She held him at arms length, still touching, still looking lovingly at him, but her eyes were serious. “Spock, I would never want you to leave the house like that again. I just meant for you to go to your room for a little while.”

Spock’s brow creased in a frown. “Then why did you not-"

“Next time,” she relented. “I shall simply ask.”

“I am sorry I broke the vase, Mother. I shall make a new one for you.”

“It does not matter.”

“It does matter. It made you sad. I can make one just like you had. I believe I remember the dimensions and the design of it.”

“Very well, Spock. But if you are to make a new one, I want you to make it as you desire. What you believe I will like. Can you do that for me?”

He nods and she hugs him close. “Let’s go home,” she says.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Amanda’s POV during the incident I wrote the other day, where Spock breaks an urn and takes what Amanda tells him literally.

The sound came as such a surprise, she gasped aloud and felt her heart shudder inside of her.

Spock was in the next room and she imagined the worst in the short distance she travelled to get to him. When she reached the room, Spock was stood over the ceramic urn, Amanda’s Father’s ashes spread between the broken container and covering the floor.

Spock looked to his Mother, face impassive and blank. “It was an experiment,” he started.

She moved over closer, moved Spock backwards, away from the broken pieces for fear they might injure him, but she knew she was rougher in her movements than she needed to be. She dropped to her knees. 

Sarek taught her to control her emotions- be more Vulcan- but in that moment, she couldn’t even think about controlling them. The grief at her loss was fresh and new again, just like the day it had happened and Spock, she looked to make sure and saw it clear on his face, he was not regretful at all.

This was, she decided, what happened when she allowed her husband to raise him the Vulcan way.

A human child would have cried, a Vulcan child would have been more careful and Spock, he was a combination of both and neither at the same time. Lacked the grace of a Vulcan and the emotion of a human. The compassion. Where was his compassion? Was her child so heartless he could not see his Mother’s pain. Did he not care at all?

“Why couldn’t you be more careful?” she asked. She could hear in her voice how raw and vulnerable she sounded. Sarek would have known, if he were here- if he were ever here when she needed him- just how vulnerable she was, and he would have stood her upright and embraced her. And she would have been comforted by it, by the fact that she knew that the gesture was given because she was human and it made her feel better.

Spock did not understand.

She hadn’t realised she’d given in to tears so quickly until she saw them drop to the floor, into the ashes of her Father. She was ruining them. The only thing she had left of him and she was crying into them. She scrapped the pieces together in a pile. It could be fixed. If she could find all the pieces, they could fix it good as new. But the ashes- it was clinging to her damp palms and the rubbed it away against her trousers, her emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

“Mother,” Spock started and she felt her self clench at his voice, trying to control herself and the anger that radiated from her. “It would be logical to use-” he continued to speak. His voice robotic and unemotional, like his Father had trained him to be and that damn word, logical. He wanted to sweep her Father into a pile, throw it in the trash and be done with it. Her lip quivered and she made sure she kept her head down, so he didn’t see.

When he finished talking her mouth opened, words came out with so much as a thought as to what she was saying.

“It would be logical for you to get out of my sight right now.” She regretted it instantly. Knew he didn’t understand the significance, but she needed him to stop standing there, looking at her as she cried about this. Knew to Spock, this was a broken vase and nothing more and she would explain to him later, why she was so upset.

She heard him leaving the room, his footsteps falling quietly and with him out of the room, she couldn’t hold back her grief any longer. It overwhelmed her as she sat on the floor, her Father’s remains just ashes in front of her.

She cried until she had nothing left.

Afterwards, her head ached and her eyes felt sore and swollen.

She cleaned the mess up, putting the vase into a box and sweeping every trace of the ashes into a bag until she could find a substitute container. Perhaps something that wouldn’t break would be wiser.

Se made sure she looked in control and calm before going to Spock’s bedroom.

The bedroom door was open and she stepped in, looked round to Spock’s study area, where she assumed he’d be. But his desk was empty. “Spock?” she called. “I want to talk to you.” She said aloud, letting her voice carry.

But there was no reply. The last words she spoke to him came back to her, taunted her. She opened the door to the garden, looked around but saw no sign of him. Panic gripped her.

How would she find him? Where could he have gone?

She rushed through the rooms of the house, looking for him, but he was nowhere inside, she already knew that. Once she’d searched everywhere, she thought she would have to call Sarek. He would pick up on her distress soon enough through their bond anyway.

Before she could call him, confess to her comm unit buzzed.

She went over to it, expecting Sarek and being startled to see T'Vaal, their closest neighbour who lived so far away their house could not be seen from their own.

“Greetings Amanda. I wished to inform you that your son was seen walking along near our property boarders. Alone.”

T'Vaal was judging her, that was clear.

She had to ignore that. Spock was what mattered now. “Do you know which direction he was heading?”

“The Ancient Caves. I assumed you did not know where he was or else-”

“Thank you, T'Vaal.” Amanda interrupted and terminated the connection.

The trip there was tense as she couldn’t help but worry what could have happened to him, out there on his own. When she reached the caves, she panicked when she didn’t see him straight away, like he should just be stood awaiting her.

Maybe he didn’t stay here, she thought. Maybe he never even came here, but kept on walking. She knew inside the caves there were sharp drops and cave dwelling creatures, something no child should deal with on their own.

Before she could get more distraught, her eyes were drawn to soft whimper.

Peering into a dark alcove she saw Spock.


End file.
